walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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