at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
