I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
