Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
