Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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