this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize