My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
