is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
How's work?
Spinning.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
