so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
