Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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