After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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