I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
