so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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