oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
