He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
