carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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