So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
