Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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