i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
