put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
