Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
