I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
