Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
