I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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