Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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