i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
