FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
