I'm gonna have a badass scar
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
