Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
