So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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