the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
