Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
