i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
