id be glad to
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
