I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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