Me too!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
