Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
