i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize