I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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