Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
