I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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