she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
im drinking this country out of the recession.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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