Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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