there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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