pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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