i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
