you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
