: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
