Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
