farters have to be the big spoon...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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