When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
