ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
