I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
