Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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