Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just cut my nipple shaving
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
