Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
