Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
