I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
