i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
