You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
