Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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