don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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