Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
