and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
